She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
