Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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