Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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