New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
