No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
