I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
