Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You are a genius and a whore.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
