I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
