just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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