i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
