Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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