Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This baby is an asshole
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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