I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's never too late to be topless.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
