I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
