i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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