I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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