4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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