literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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