you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
