im six kinds of drunk right now
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
