you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
not ubering you a puppy
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
