while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
