i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The uberlube is also flammable
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
