There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
