i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
