That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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