After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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