Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize