on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
