I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize