Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize