My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize