you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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