I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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