You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize