Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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