How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
