so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
