Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
