Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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