ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
