I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
