one might say we're banned from that church
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
