i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
