i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
