He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
