She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
