Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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