Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
