1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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