Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
love makes seman taste better
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
