know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
