he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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