is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
