When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There's always time for handjobs
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
