If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
