More tranny stories later!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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