I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
