New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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