just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize