I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
