Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
