you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
