whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
