dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
organizing the empties. That sober.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
